I think I figured out why I'm having trouble with the idea that I am going to pick up my daughter soon. I know nothing about her. The last information we have is from our referral and dated December 14, 2007. She was 7 months old then. The agency doesn't give you any information on your child until after your court date, I mean nothing! It's there policy and it didn't matter how many times I asked. On the day they called us to say our court date was successful (March 14) we were given 2 new pictures and told that we'd be given updated information on her within a couple of weeks. Need I tell you today is April 16. I've asked the agency once a week for the past 3 weeks and I keep being told that I'll receive an update in the next couple of weeks .... I might be with Sofia in the next couple of weeks. DUH!
I'm very thankful for the pictures that we received from a couple of friends that have travelled. Danielle has been great, our daughters are so close in age and it gives me an idea of what to expect. But it's not good enough. I still feel unattached to my child. I've been reading books on attachment but it's all focused on Sofia. What about me!
I hope as soon as I see her that I will fall madly and deeply in love with her. But I feel like I need some lead up. Is there such thing as love at first sight? I've always thought so. I knew from the moment I met Grant even though it took him 4 months (or 5 years depending on how you look at it) to realize it. Does it work the same way with mothers and daughters?
2 comments:
Hey Alicia,
The updates can be misleading. Selamu always looked terrified in his pictures and the commentary always noted that he was very shy and didn't really interact with the other kids. It had me very worried. Our last update was actually enroute when we left for Ethiopia and we just opened it today - upon returning. It also said that both boys were frightened of strangers and they are both clearly crying in the pictures.
What is so amazing about this is - Selamu came running into our arms at the Foster home and he hasn't quit giggling and smiling since. He is the happiest kid imaginable. I like to think he was just waiting for his family to pick him up. Just as Sofia is. Maybe you will fall in love with her instantly and maybe it will take days, but it will happen. She is your daughter and you have a whole lifetime to learn every little thing about her.
I was going to respond, but I think that Shauna has done a beautiful job of saying it all!! You will be fine!!! You WILL fall in love - as you are already - just different once you start breathing her in!!
I can't wait to see you go!! There are SO MANY families going in the next six weeks!! YEAH!!
Justine
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