Miserable-Day

Well yesterday SUCKED! I must give a shout out to my darling, wonderful husband, who through years of trial & error has figured out exactly what to do with me when I'm in a funk. Thank you Buddy, you were great yesterday! Also to my parents who tried very hard to lift my spirits.

Some days are just not good for me. Some days I'd be better to go back to bed and stay there all day. Although I must admit (I hope Grant agrees) that since we have stopped "trying" and started the adoption process these "funks" have changed from weeks to days. At this point I'm pretty much down to 24 hrs! Yesterday I tried to just keep to myself. I kept hearing my Moms voice in my head "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

Let me tell you what I think set me off. Yesterday am at 0710 our phone rang. My first thought was cool, "DB did call to wake me up. Mmm, coffee & chatting" My second thought was "Our court date went through!!!!" Sadly it was my boss asking me if I could work... Miserable.

So, since I was awake I got up and made coffee. Then I started thinking ... not a good idea

Thinking + Me = TROUBLE! 

I don't want to get into what I was thinking because I want to get out of this funk not drop back down into it. But it was about Sofia, this adoption, and when (if ever) it might end. I worry about my little girl, I worry that she is not getting enough attention, I worry that she is sick and I can't wipe her nose. I worry a LOT.

So to try to get my mind off of her I decided to try to get my serger up & running. I'm having issues with the tension, I now have it isolated to the left needle. (I did manage to fix the other 3 threads.) Anyway, it's beyond what I can do, I have to take it into the shop. No sewing got done because I was too mad to haul out my sewing machine. I decided to pull out the shredder instead to try to cheer myself up. Sadly, it didn't work. I just got more mad because the bag filled up before I got all the shredding done. (really, it was a rough day)

Then I called the agency (IA) to see if anything has progressed. **DO NOT do this if you are already in a funk!** The agency tells me that we should be able to travel in June. I should be happy about this right? Oddly I'm not. I have trust issues and I don't believe our agency, so this information just added fuel to my pity party. I really want to believe that it will be June, that will be 6 months after we met her. It's logical and reasonable to think June. I've just temporarily lost my focus & faith in the process.

But today was a new day. I went to bed early last night. I woke up this morning and told myself that I was NOT allowed to have a repeat day. I'm doing much better.

Tomorrow night we are going to the "Blue Nile" with another couple (Hi SW). It'll be nice to hang out with another young adopting couple. Their dossier has been in Eth since July/07 and they are waiting for a boy under 12 months. YEAH, a playmate for Sofia!! 

DB, sorry I blew you off. You don't want to talk to me when I'm like that anyway. I'm on afternoons next week so we will try again then.

SF, sorry I was proof reading this when I realized how many times I used 'funk' with a negative connotation. That's what I've always called it, I guess I'll have to come up with something new... No offense meant. Your house seems to be 'funk-less', everyone always looks so happy!